58 Comments
User's avatar
Teyani Whitman's avatar

Oh Marya….. my❤️ goes out to you while you fight the black mold bastard.

One of the things I like most about you is that you live a world adjacent, wildly creative, untethered life, but even this has become a disaster too much to bear.

Any chance you can sell whatever is salvageable, and begin again? Gut the scamp tramp, bleach everything, pray, reseal and repaint or dump that too.

Toss everything porous ( including the wildly awesome gold spike heels).

Mold spores know no boundaries, and you don’t need any tag a long bugs,

I have enough of most anything you need to start mold free and anew… and it’s yours for the asking. Most of my clothes would fit two of you, so that’s no use, but I’ve got pots, pans, blankets, sheets, pillows, curtains, and towels galore. And I’m guessing so do many of your adoring fans.

Dump that moldy shit.

And if you need it, allow folks who care to help

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

The gutting and throwing is beginning as we speak! I will be vigilant and spare nothing I should not. And thank you, so much, for your kind offer. I had a very nice therapy session last night with my poor therapist who continues to suggest that asking for and/or accepting help is not likely to be fatal. I have taken it under advisement 🤣🤗💕

Expand full comment
Marie Colette's avatar

THIS. Teyani, thank you.

Mar, let us help, ok?

Expand full comment
Dana Leigh Lyons's avatar

Thrilled to be along for the ride, Marya. Also, I treasure this quote from Mary Oliver (and your missive reminded me of it):

“It is six A.M., and I am working. I am absentminded, reckless, heedless of social obligations, etc. It is as it must be. The tire goes flat, the tooth falls out, there will be a hundred meals without mustard. The poem gets written. I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame. Neither do I have guilt. My responsibility is not to the ordinary, or the timely. It does not include mustard, or teeth. It does not extend to the lost button, or the beans in the pot.

My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive. If I have a meeting with you at three o’clock, rejoice if I am late. Rejoice even more if I do not arrive at all.

There is no other way work of artistic worth can be done. And the occasional success, to the striver, is worth everything. The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.”

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Dana, I read this and felt, as the kids say, wildly seen. Thank you for sharing. To heck with the mustard and buttons. On with the poems and walks. 🫶🤗

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Thank you, Dana (and Mary). This could not have been more timely for me.

Expand full comment
Stacie's avatar

“…instead of writing and looking at turtles, but frankly that is no concern of mine.” I find this probably far too deeply relatable but I think writing and looking at turtles are great priorities! The rest of the world’s got the wrong idea, imo.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

I AGREE 🙏🏻

Expand full comment
Wendy Varley's avatar

Thank you for this hilarious glimpse into the state of play with your, um, eccentric campervan, Marya. Hope you can get it fixed up.

"Ah! This time she will not be weird!" Thank goodness for the weird!

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

How is the inanimate object also taking on my truculent unwillingness to be timely as well 😂

Expand full comment
Michela Griffith's avatar

At a point when I really should be commiserating with your misfortune I find myself wrapped deeply in the chaotic joy of your writing. PS If this is short, what is long?

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Twice this length is long. 😜 I am glad I’m not the only one laughing 😁

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

My question exactly.

Expand full comment
Adrienne's avatar

Ugh… I don’t even have any words for this. Gutting a camper I feel is somewhat like gutting a caravan… But my caravan is not yet my home I have not logged thousands upon thousands of miles in it … one thing I do know is the creation of quality -read durable- well made “things” decreases proportionally if not exponentially across time with our supposed increase in knowledge and technology. Sometimes …actually most times in my world ….it is better to refit or repair the old than to embrace the new.

Definitely let us know how we can help! 💜

Expand full comment
Paulette Bodeman's avatar

I’m holding equally my appreciation of your writing, how you take the grist and turn it into gold. And my holy moly expletives.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Why hold those in??? The holy moly expletives are more than fitting right now lolollll

Expand full comment
Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Right! I as much as say that in tomorrow's post, which has been hung up in perfectionitis!

Expand full comment
Jasmine McBride's avatar

I just found my new favourite writer.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Hullo, friend! Welcome!! 🤗

Expand full comment
Sarah Fay's avatar

This was so good--as always.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Thank you, Sarah—high praise 🙏🏻☺️

Expand full comment
Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Marya

So good

Gone done Shat the bed

A sure shit show. I hope it’s OK to laugh. You got me going.

Thank you

May all get sorted in the alligator sleep well

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Thank you, Prajna, I will carry on 😆

Expand full comment
Shannon Reclusado's avatar

On the bright side, after the gut job, you can build some cabinets, closets, or storage to your liking. Plus, more material for your creative and talented mind to play with words cleverly, practicing your bitchcraft.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

This!!! I had not thought of this!! Thank you luv! 😂🫶

Expand full comment
Sophie S.'s avatar

Oh no, troubles do tend to come in multitudes don't they 🫣 at least the bog is pretty 🤷‍♀️

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

So pretty!! A great place to begin a gutting 😆

Expand full comment
Chris Stanton's avatar

When you say “We have a situation,” you don’t mess around. First, I’m so sorry about all of this. I’d like to send flowers to the Scamp in the ICU, but those fucking bugs would make a quick meal of them. Keeping you in my thoughts, Marya.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Chris, you're such a fucking gem. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Donna McArthur's avatar

You are a brilliant human. Truly. To be able to write with vulnerable realism and allow us to be along for your ride during some challenging times takes a darn smart woman. Those accommodating men know that. If there is such a thing, may you have a smooth ride fixing Scamp.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Thank you so much, Donna. All of these comments, all of you and your accommodating kindness have just warmed my soul.

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

Oy vey. Come to upstate NY. Park in my long flat driveway. Do the work within a safe space. Anyway. That’s my offer. Always open door. xoxo

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Hoping to make a loop up thataway before year’s end. Hugs!! xoxox

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

That would be phenomenal. Let’s touch base in the next week or so if you can. I know you’re really busy! xoxo

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

Sooooo close to wrapping this series. Hopping over to Chicago for an event & then back on Eastern Time early next week—let’s chat then. xoxoxo

Expand full comment
Nan Tepper's avatar

Super!

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Well, shit, Marya. Or...don't. It seems you've already had your three calamities so now it can be about reassembly. I wonder what would happen if you could drive to the desert. Does mold grow in the desert?

For what it's worth, aside from the whole ethos of this missive, I'm keeping borked, blooped, and glubbed. The 4" gold stilettos can find a new home.

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

but I love themmmmmmm

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

I'm sure you wear them well. My stiletto ship sailed some time ago. 🛳️

Expand full comment
Marya Hornbacher's avatar

they are entirely decorative. they are the shoes in which one sits. one does not wear them; one is worn by them. ;)

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

👠❣️🎯

Expand full comment